A few weeks ago I picked Trenton up from school, and before he could even get the car door opened I heard him yelling "Mommy I want you to sign me up to play basketball!" And if you know me, you already know that mommy did sign him up for basketball! :) Which, I was actually shocked that he wanted to play.. He plays baseball during the summer but he has never really shared any interest in basketball... But I have to admit that I am just as excited about him wanting to play as he is!
Yesterday was the his first basketball clinic. And although it is his weekend to be at his dad's house, Trenton wanted to stay with me Friday night and me take him to his first clinic. Of course, we did just that!
Before I go into the excitement of his first clinic, I have to tell you about the oh so sweet invite I received from Trenton. Late in the evening a few hours after dinner, I heard Trenton run into the kitchen to fetch his "midnight snack". It doesn't matter what time of the night it is, it is always referred to as a "midnight snack" by Trenton. Whether it be 8 or 9 o'clock, it is still a "midnight snack". :) After he ran back to his room, I decided that a "midnight" snack sounded good to me also, so I went and grabbed one and decided to join him in his room to eat mine also. When I walked in Trenton had a blanket spread out on his bedroom floor and said, "Oh Mommy! I was just about to ask you if you wanted to join me for an indoor picnic! Get it!? An Indoor picnic!!" as he pointed to the blanket he had spread out so perfect and even. Of course, I just thought this was the sweetest invite in the world, so I was quick to plop down on the blanket and enjoy the adventure. After our picnic, Trenton and I played and played and played! We made lego villages for his pokemon and dodged attacks from World War 2 fight planes driven by Ewoks until we both fell asleep in his bed. Which I have to add, I will never turn down the chance to lay on his bed for he has a tempurpedic mattress that I myself am jealous of to no end!
Now onto basketball!!! We got up Saturday morning, and both of us were so excited we couldn't hardly wait for the time to leave the house and head that way! On the way there, Trenton informed me that he might not be able to make a goal, and when I told him "It's okay if you don't Trenton. It's just meant for fun anyways" he had the smartest reply ever, "Yeah, if I don't I will just have to practice, practice, practice!"
We get to the clinic and all of the ball players are seated on the sidelines of the court waiting for their age groups chance to go. I went and sat in the bleachers and waited impatiently until it was Trenton's turn. And finally after what seemed like forever, it was his time to go. They had them run while dribbling across half the court at first, and I have to admit, Trenton was by far not the best at that. Bless his heart, He just wasn't bouncing the ball hard enough for it to come back up to him, so he was bent over while running and trying to reach the ball that was barely bouncing off the ground. He stuck it out and made it back, but I could tell that he was a little embarrassed by it. He kinda just shrugged his shoulders and had that certain look on his face that every mother knows their child has when they aren't the proudest about something they have done. From right then, I was worried that his self-esteem wasn't going to be the highest when it came to playing basketball. But, Trenton held his chin up and went on to line up to see their ability to shoot baskets. And while he was in line, I could still see the look of worry on his face. So while he was waiting with nervousness in line, I was sitting in the stands with my fingers crossed, and my heart breaking. When I say heart breaking, you may think that is a little over exaggerated.. as a mother, I can't stand to see my son worried, embarrassed, let down, or whatever else you want to add to the list. Anything he goes through that is something other than perfect, upsets me.
Finally, it was Trenton's turn to shoot. He walked up to the spot the coaches pointed to and went for it without a second thought. And to mine and his surprise, he made a perfect shot! Nothing but net!!!! He turned around with the biggest smile and look of excitement and surprise on his face, waved at me and gave me a big thumbs up! Of course, a thumbs up from my direction went right back to him!!! I was so happy for him especially after the dribbling incident earlier! I had sat there the whole time with the picture of him trying his hardest to dribble in my mind, feeling his let down in my own heart, and when I saw him make that shot, it couldn't have reassured me anymore that he was going to leave the clinic a happy camper.
When the clinic was over and we were leaving, Trenton was so excited he had to call David and Nana to let them know what he had done. And then the determination to learn to dribble better kicked in. On the way to meet his Dad, all he talked about was that he needed a basketball and basketball goal. And proceeded to ask me a million questions about "Air Jordan", not Michael Jordan, But "Air Jordan". After explaining to Trenton that "Air Jordan" wasn't always good at basketball, and that he had to practice and learn the same as Trenton is having to do, Trenton was dead set that he was going to practice until he was the best! Now that is the determination I always try to instill in my little man. Never give up, and always believe in yourself. And apparently, he has listened every time I have told him that, because he definitely had the motivation and drive in him Saturday to prove to everyone he would be a better dribbler by the next practice.
As soon as I dropped Trenton off with his Daddy, I instantly had my separation anxiety hit me. My first stop was to buy Trenton his first basketball. In which would not be complete without a red bow tied around it to make it special. I was jealous that I wasn't getting to share the exciting day with Trenton and celebrate him making a goal. :( And all day, I just pictured him being upset over not being able to dribble. I just felt so sorry for him! I actually thought about it so much, I got myself upset and almost into tears. You would think the exciting surprise shot would make me totally forget the shame of the dribbling. And any other time, it probably would. But being Trenton wasn't around to assure me he was okay, and that he himself was over the dribbling moment, it just sat heavy on my heart. Heavy enough he has ended up with a basketball, new ewok hallmark ornaments, and some new how to train your dragons hatching eggs. :) Now, only if tomorrow could get here fast enough for me to give him all of these things he has been wanting!
The oddest thing of me feeling this way the entire weekend, is the fact that kids are so resilient. Something can happen to them and although they have an upsetting emotion over it at the time, they go on and never think twice about it. I on the other hand, am not able to do that. Lord how I wish I was with the way I worry myself to death over things that are as small as an ant at times. Such as the dribbling incident... Yes, I may have overreacted to how he must have felt, making myself upset over it all day yesterday. But it is just my nature when it comes to Trenton. I worry about nothing more in life than him. I am constantly worrying about how he must feel in certain situations, if he feels like he is as important as I feel he is, and so forth... I've never in my life had anxiety or emotions as strong as I have until I was blessed with Trenton. I have often wondered at times what I have done that was so good in God's eyes that he would bless me with such an amazing, sweet, caring, tender-hearted, smart, funny and handsome son like Trenton. But I do have to admit, I don't care what the purpose is or was, I am just thankful to the stars that it happened. Because of him, I am who I am today. Happier, more caring, and having more love towards anything I ever knew possible so why in the world should I ever question it? There is no better feeling in this world than having your heart and soul standing right in front of you, vocalizing how much he loves you, and how special he thinks you are, and what a great mommy he feels like he has. To that, I know our bond and feelings will always hold us tight, and can only wait for the excitement and pitter patter of our hearts once he shows his team how he can dribble that basketball next time! :) :)
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