Cheesy grins

First and foremost, I have to start this by bragging about how good of a weekend I have had! It has been great! This weekend has by far been the best weekend I have had in a very, very, very long time. I literally just feel like I am on top of the world today. A feeling I was starting to believe I had forgotten what felt like. And by far, a feeling that I needed to be reminded still exists. And as proudly as you can picture, as I type this, I can say that I do in fact remember this feeling and I am in love!

What better way to start explaining this awesome weekend than starting at the beginning? Friday. For a few weeks now, I had been planning on going to Bowling Green with 2 of my high school color guard friends for a night of girl fun. So as the afternoon approached, like usual, I was running behind but eager to start getting ready to head out. After doing the usual of touching up my make up and fixing my hair, and of course not forgetting to make sure I had my high heels on, the girls were here to get me and we were ready to hit the road! After getting to BG, we went to tidballs to meet up with one of my all time very best friends since 6th grade, Nick, and to watch his band play. And after having a good visit with him and hearing some good music, we went down the street to another bar to hear some dance music. Although that place was deader than a door nail, we played pool and still had a good time. Our night started late, so it seemed as if it flew by but on the way home and after pulling up in my driveway, we started doing the girl thing. Talking. We all talked about things that have happened and things that we think about a lot in life, and how we feel about it, and I can honestly say that some of it felt so good to get off of my chest. And after sitting in the driveway, doing nothing but listening and talking for over an hour, when I came back into the house, I was sitting on the couch winding down for a minute and realized that for one of the first times that night, I was able to talk about my brother and not get horribly saddened. I in fact was able to talk about him, and smile. A huge step for me that evening!

Day 2. Saturday. Also for a week or so now, Mom and I had planned on going to Gallatin and Henderson Tennessee to close Derek's bank account, and to make a day of it with some shopping. If you know me, and you know my mom, you know we love each other to pieces and in fact, both of us don't know what we would ever do without each other. but we are so much alike when it comes to certain things in life, we always bump heads. Derek always said "Kacie your so damn head strong, and she is too. You know what you want, and she does too and neither of you know how to handle it when someone else is just as strong as you." Boy, was he ever right about that! And while I had actually been looking forward to this Saturday, I hate to say it, but at the same time I was almost weary of it. Lately, mom has been an emotional wreck and I myself, have been the same way so talking between us has been hard. Both of us are the type that when we are down, everybody around us knows it. And you know the old saying "when something is wrong people always take it out on the ones they love they most"? That is so very true and that is exactly what mom and I are notorious for doing to each other. So you can only imagine with both of us dealing with everything about Derek how we have been towards each other. It's not that we mean to, or that we don't feel bad afterwards, but its just us. I could try and explain it all day to you but it is just something that you would have to witness in order to understand it fully. But, she is my mama and I love her to pieces. I hope that if there is a such thing as anything good coming from this, it may be that mom and I are able to become closer and have the relationship that we both want that doesn't consist of us being hateful to one another the majority of the time. And after yesterday, I can honestly say that I feel like there is hope in it happening.

We went to the Home Goods store that we both love and spent FOREVER in there. Literally. We had to actually stop shopping and pay for what we had at that moment, put it in the car and go eat lunch before going back to finish up shopping in the store. I love that store! It has the neatest, prettiest home decor for the cheapest prices! And I'm not sure if you know what a Hyundai Accent is, but it is an extremely small car. So for us to be able to fit all of our stuff in it the way we did, and it be crammed to the gill, that alone put a smile on our faces. We laughed and laughed over the car being loaded down the way it was. It definitely held a lot more than we ever dreamed of it holding! And after spending what seemed like endless hours in the home goods store, we made our way over to Ross. I also LOVE Ross! I had never heard of it until David took me to Atlanta for the first time and took me to it insisting that I would love it. He was right. So right that every time we make a trip to Atlanta now, we have to stop by Ross in order for me to spend a minimum of 2 hours in it. So when I found out that we had one close enough to go to around here, I was super excited! Although they have clothes and shoes and its pretty much like a tj maxx, I love the home decor aisles in the back. I bought 2 shirts there yesterday and that is pretty much the only thing I have ever bought there that wasn't home decor. Now, keep in mind that we left Glasgow at 8 am yesterday, and did not get home until 9 pm, and only went to 3 stores. I told you we spent endless hours in the stores! But mom found a bunch of new stuff for her house that she loved, and I myself found more than I ever dreamed of finding for our house, so we have both been back and forth on the phone with each other talking about where we put what and how good it looks. :) Also, I found a picture at the home goods store that is the prettiest things you've ever seen and being it was kinda pricey and wouldn't allow myself to buy it, mom volunteered to get it for me and let it be part of an early mother's day gift for me. It's beautiful! It's made like a shadow box, with a silver frame, creme colored background, and its wider than it is tall and has 3 paper flowers that go straight across it. And the flowers are 3 dimensional. Not sure how to explain it, but it's gorgeous! I cant wait until I figure out exactly where to put it and get it hung up! And on top of that, I got oodles and oodles of other new things. Oh, and the best steal of the day.... (insert drum roll here)... a new bed spread for $12.99!!!! I know right?!?! I didn't know there was a such thing as a 12.99 bead spread that existed! It had originally been $99, and I too loved it and it was what I had been looking for, so needless to say, it was in my cart with my name on it faster than you could blink!

On top of all the pretties and good deals we found, mom and I actually laughed all day long. There was no tension at all. And both of us were able to talk about Derek and not get upset. As we shopped through the endless aisles, as we would see stuff, we would both say "this is something Derek would love". Being able to talk about him, and think about him and it not ruin us for the day, that seemed like a big step for both of us. And after we did manage to find our way back to Glasgow with a little bitty car piled to the roof literally, I was on cloud 9. I had managed to have the best day that I have had since Derek's passing. And not only was I on cloud 9 because of how good of a day I was able to have, I was on cloud 9 because it also consisted of my mama being a part of it. Days like yesterday with her, are the days I wish we had all of the time. I pray that days like yesterday continue between us. It's been a hard, bumpy road for her, and I pray every night that she will find peace within herself and her heart and be able to experience life. Seeing her the way she was yesterday, I now see a hope of that happening in the future for her also. Oh, and how could I forget the weather yesterday?! Oh my goodness, it was perfect! I'm telling ya, Derek hears me every time and makes it happen for me!

Today. Sunday. David woke everyone up at a decent hour this morning so that we could have some much needed time spent together. Trenton got up in a really good mood and got himself dressed while David and I were getting dressed and then we were off to hit the road in this beautiful sunny weather we managed to have not just yesterday, but today too! Our only true destination was to go to Factory Connection and look around and exchange something, and the rest we played by ear from there. In the car, Trenton was in the best mood giggling, and talking up a storm about anything you can imagine running through an 8 yr old mind. He is your typical boy, and usually doesn't like shopping. At. All! So for him to be so patient and good in the clothing store, we decided that he could pick the spot to eat. Subway it was! That boy LOVES subway! He would eat it everyday of his life if he could. He really should be the spokes model for them! Be the next Jarred! ha! Usually when we eat fast food, we end up just bringing it home to eat but we decided to enjoy the day out and eat inside. Trenton got his usual, 12 inch sub club on wheat, apple slices, and a chocolate chip cookie. And yes, he eats every bite of it! I don't know where he puts it, but it goes somewhere! But today, he had an idea that I thought was a great one, and very sweet. As he was sitting there and eating his first half, he decided that he wanted to bring the other half home. He said, " I can eat this half as my late lunch, and then take this half home for dinner. That sounds like a good idea don't it mama?". Yes, it was an excellent idea! So later on tonight, he indeed devoured the other half of his oh so yummy sub club and has remained being the sweetest!

Not sure how I could forget to mention this, but when I got home from shopping with mom yesterday, there was a card hanging on the bathroom mirror for me. I opened it and it was a just because I love you card from David. Knowing he had me on his mind enough to want to go pick a card out for me put the biggest smile on my face! But oh no, it didn't stop there! When I went into the bedroom he had the bed made, and laying on my pillow was yet another just because I love you card. Can you imagine getting 2 in one day? Well, imagine 3! Because later on when I went to get on my laptop, I opened it and laying on the keyboard was card #3! It was the sweetest thing and made me feel so darn good knowing that he had me on his mind so much that he felt the need to go buy me some cards and tell me how much he loved me. And it was obvious that he actually spent time reading them and finding the perfect ones, because they were just that. Perfect! They even had sparkles on them! No matter who they are for, or what occasion it may be, every card I buy has to have something that sparkles on it. What can I say? I'm a sucker for sparklie things! :)

Normally I am excited to spring forward an hour because it means the days are going to be getting longer. It is one step closer to spring and the start of warm weather. But I have actually not liked losing an hour last night. Not because we lost an hours worth of sleep or anything of that sort, but because we lost an hour last night, it was one hour less I had during this perfect weekend. This weekend has literally been one of those weekends that you don't ever want to end. I stayed up until 3 am last night because I had had such a good day with mom and didn't want it to end, and then today I feel the same way. I was sad that I had to put Trenton to bed early because of school tomorrow, and I am sad that everyone is heading to bed and ending this awesome family day we have had together. And, unfortunately, I go back to school tomorrow. Not sure why I am dreading it considering that while on spring break this week, I have complained that I had nothing to do during the day and all it did was make me sit around and think all of the time but the show must go on! I cant wait until summer break and I have Trenton to myself everyday and we get to go spend time swimming and doing whatever we feel like doing. No going to bed at a certain time, and no having to get up early. Summer time in this house, is the best time by far!

And although I do not want this weekend to end, it is that time. Time to get back in the rhythm of the week life and stay on task. But before closing this, I must say while riding in the car today, I was of course doing nothing but thinking, but whats new? And while thinking, I somehow couldn't help but thank my brother for this weekend. I just know that he had something to do with the way I have felt the past few days. I told him I needed some sunshine, and boy did he give it to me! And I told him I needed to know that I was going to be okay. And he did just that. He gave me the sun, and he brought back the feeling of who I was a month ago. He reminded me of what makes me who I am and what I appreciate in my life. Gave me the feelings that I so deeply know that he would want me to feel. He gave them to me, and I felt them with everything in my heart. It's the little things like this that help me to know that he is okay and being taken care of, and to know that he is taking care of me. Again, I just thought about him and was able to smile. :)