Small town girl with the hopes of leaving this town and heading to the "city" all of her life but today I have to say, I have never been so happy to see the Glasgow sign in all my life. I'm not sure if it was the fact of the circumstances of which we were out of town, or the fact that I had been riding in a Uhaul in the middle of my mom and David, on a seat that I would normally laugh at if someone thought my purse would fit on it. And besides the fact that I had to endur the agony of riding in this truck pulling a trailor with my brother's car on it, and knowing everything of his was behind me the whole time and never looking back to Connecticut, while sitting on this "mini" seat that they had said would be a "FULL SIZED" bench seat, I had to sit with my legs spread for the big round part of the dash where the motor is to fit in it. Yes imagine riding 1000 miles across the united states in a position that reminds you of that women take when ready to give birth. I am yet to figure out which was less painful... actually giving birth, or having to ride in the stance of it for 19 hours.
But wait, let me back this up to where the whole story begins.... First, we had to leave the house at 2:30 am in order to make it to the airport in time to check in and catch our flights. No biggie. Except for the fact that I myself have not been able to sleep the best lately, and for the fact that this was David's first time flying in his life. Ever. So he himself was not able to catch any sleep either. So between us both not sleeping, him being nervous about just handing his life over to a man he's never met and having no control of it, and then me freaking out after realizing he has a point, stressed would be a good thing at the time for us. Crazy was what we were. But THANKFULLY, we made ever flight on time, none were delayed, we both breathed and helped each other step foot back on the ground again. :) Normally anytime my mom or I have ever flew to Connecticut it was to see my brother... stepping off of the plane and knowing that he would not be parked across the walk in his little orange car, waiting impatiently to give us a hug is a feeling I can't describe. Instead of having this memory be happening in the present, we were instead picked up by a man we had never met before that Derek's landlord had asked to pick us up. Now, try to keep up with me here fore I am about to jump back to the week of Derek's funeral to catch you up with where I am going with this. When Derek's friends were in town for his services, mom informed us that this man would be picking us up from the airport and that Derek's landlord told her that he drove the PeterPan truck. Leave it to me, and I instantly start to picture some type of green S10 pull up with a huge peterpan hat on top with a big red feather sticking out, while the rest put it together as he drove the PeterPan Peanut Butter truck. :) During the week, this peterpan man had become quite a joke amongst Derek's friends, mom and me. Now back to the present of being picked up at the airport... we call him and he says he is about to pull in as we are speaking to him. I'm not sure exactly what his idea of "just pulling in" was.... but we stood there freezing our tushes off while looking for a green truck and a man we wouldn't recognize if he were standing beside us. So finally after what seemed like forever, and a little frostbite later, he pulls up. In a ford explorer. No green truck. No peterpan hat. No feather. My envision was officially ruined. So as awkard as you can imagine, we all get in the vehicle and take off for Bristol, Ct... and within this 45 min drive to my brother's apartment, it literally took mom and I about 3.2 minutes to realize we did not like this man at all. Yes he did his job by picking us up and taking us where we needed to go in order to start another part of the nightmare we have been living in, but sometimes people just have a way about them that doesn't settle right with you. He kept trying to make small talk and we were social back... somehow in the conversation the topic of all the snow came up and Mom said "Yeah, Derek said that he had seen so much snow this year he didn't care if he never saw it again". The man's response... "HAHAHA WELLLLLLLLLLLL he don't have to worry about that anymore now!!!!" O.M.G!! Did he really just say that? All I could do was look over at mom, and apparently they only thing she could do was turn to look at me at the same time, and realizing we were both thinking the exact same thing about this man. Asshole. Oh, and the topic of him driving a peterpan truck... It was PeterPan Bus Liners.. not PeterPan Peanut butter! Haha!
When we got to Derek's apartment, I dont think you could have pulled mom and me out of that car any faster than we rolled out! Although unfortunately, as soon as we stepped out we realized where we were, and what we were there for.... Yes, walking into his apartment was one of the hardest things ever except of course having to go to a funeral to see him. I knew it was going to be hard, but I honestly had no idea until I walked in the silence of the place with everything left just as he had left it. Without thinking, the first thing I did was sit down on the floor and grab his sketch books and started flipping through the pages. Grinning at some, a raise of the brow at others, and a tear for the rest. Thankfully, not long after getting there, all of his friends started rolling in to help us and let me say, that they made the whole trip so much more easier than it would have ever been on us without them there. I know I mentioned it in an earlier post, and all over my facebook, and have told each and everyone of them nearly, but I have never seen friends like them in my life. Before we even had time to think about what to do, or what we needed, they had it done, and had already bought it. They came prepared with boxes, packing supplies, generousity, compassion, and stories of Derek. There is no doubt that if they had not came and done everything they did, we would still be on our way home right now. Or even possibly not have even left out to hit the road yet.
While we were all packing though, I started to notice things that I didn't see. His Wii, digital camera, digital picture frame, all of his many watches he loved, his ipod, and most importantly of them all to me... his paintings were nowhere to be found. After a call to the detectives, they in fact said that they knew for sure these items were there when they were in there that night and that they had pictures with these items in there. So apparently somebody was so cold hearted, and low enough to go into my brother's apartment and steal his belongings and disrespect him to a whole other level. I can get over the fact of most of it, but his paintings.... his paintings crushed my heart. Those are irreplaceable. There will never in the history of the world be another Derek Byrd masterpiece. Someone may try to copy one or mimic you might want to say, but never will it be Derek's. Of course, with my heart being broken, the tears started to come. And then the anger behind it. And unfortunately, we pretty much know exactly who did it, but the cops have to "investigate" it before they can go check him out. The maintenance man to his apartment... which is the one who had been feeding his cat although the landlord promised Mom herself that she would be the one doing it that way she knew the house was locked up good and nothing would happen. And after talking to him before realizing these things were gone, he had brought the rest of the cat food over, and said that he never went past the kitchen and that he would just come in the back door, lay the food down, and head right back out. And was also very big into "oh just grab the stuff you want and leave the rest and I will just take care of it"... after informing him we were there to get everything, it was a while before we saw him again. And of course after something like this happens, you start putting all the pieces together and racking your brain to try and figure out who, what, where, when, how... and whatever else you can imagine running through your mind. And with my mind going every bit of Mach 9.... I have came to the conclusion that I honestly believe that he was hoping we didn't know exactly what Derek had and that it wouldn't be missed. And that if we were just there to grab a few things, we would get what we thought was important and say to hell with the rest of it, and he would get away with nobody ever thinking another thing about it. And after the cops talking to the landlord, she called him and told him what was going on. So naturally, if he does or did have any of it, I can guarantee he no longer does now. And after him coming back over to ask us what was going on about it, if you could have seen his face, you would feel the same as me and every other single person in the house at that moment does about him being guilty. For one, he stood in the kitchen and said "Well, I am the only person with a key".... and he had also told me that he didn't go past the kitchen, but yet he brought up things that were in the bedroom floor. And before any word at all was spoken of the paintings, he said "well I thought something was weird when he didnt have all of his paintings like he always did during inspection". Okay first off... Derek and him were not friends. He would not have known if Derek got rid of them or not and would have not thought anything weird about him not having them there. Only people that know Derek would understand that something is terribly wrong about his paintings not being there... and obviously he went past the bedroom to the art studio as he also forgot to mention. And you know the saying that everything happens for a reason? What are the odd's that my brother would have held onto the boxes to almost all of his electronics in the closet to where the cops were able to have the serial codes off of them so they can be traced and checked out through the pawn shops around there. Now, you can tell me that was just luck! And even though my mind was in a game of playing forensic evidence, I still couldn't imagine what kind of person it would take to come in a person's house who recently just passed away and steal their things.... I cant even begin to imagine what kind of heart it takes to do something like that.
In the middle of trying to recover the car keys from the cops, which were refusing to hand them over for whatever reason we never figured out, and between the cops coming to file a report on the theft, and in the mix of packing his stuff, Derek's friends took it upon themselves to go to the hotel and book our rooms for us with their ESPN discounts. That alone made us feel great knowing it would help with the expences of everything, but when they came back and handed us the keys and told us that 2 rooms were paid for for 2 nights, you cant imagine how it made us feel. To know that they cared enough for Derek to want to do something so great for his family that they just met is a feeling that is indescribable within itself. And the generousity didn't end there...wherever we went, they all took care of us as if we were their family there to visit each and every one of them specifically. I've never felt so loved by people I've never truly "known" in my life. Hell, I've never felt that loved by people that I thought were my friends for all these years! Seeing the way they came together as a family, and how they are there for each other and the listening to the laughs and jokes, you can't help but sit back and compare it to what you call friends. Yes I have a select few that I consider true friends, but I know now that the rest are not what you can call a friend. An aquaintenance. A stranger more like it. And in all honesty, I'm actually "okay" with realizing this. Almost thankful in a way. Atleast I know now and can move on and experience life with people are truly are friends and not waste another minute on the one's who arent.
Going to ESPN was an adventure! Bittersweet it was! Not only did we have the privelage of having one of Derek's best friends be our tour guide, we also got to meet all of his friends that weren't able to miss work to make it here for the service. And to see what Derek did during all those crazy hours of the night was also pretty cool. I've never seen so many monitors and buttons in all my life. I literally had to restrain myself being I am what you would call "a button pusher". Yes I am the one that will push the big red button that says "absolutely DO NOT push this button or you will explode" just in order to see what it feels like to push it. You know what I mean... some buttons are stiff and make a click, others are kinda squishy and silent. Wondering how the button feels, kills me when I see them. But I managed myself well, and no buttons were pressed causing any million dollar mistakes. :) And while on this awesome tour of meeting the faces that knew Derek, we turned a corner and there was a 7x4 ft ESPN banner haning up with a crazy amount of things wrote on it. All of his friends and immediate coworkers had written messages to us about Derek... Mom teared up, and I myself did when I saw it. To know they put that up for us to have before ever even knowing if we were for sure going to make it to the station or not just meant he world to me. Another comforter to know that Derek had so many people that cared for him and that he was loved no matter where he was in the world whether it be here in Ky by all of his family and friends, or his new "family" and friends In Ct. You're wondering why I said the trip to ESPN was bittersweet? Try this out then... although it was sad to know that Derek would no longer be in there running things, and seeing where he worked and him not being the one showing us, we did get to go on a few of the sets they broadcast from there. I've never been a sports person in my life, but to know I was sitting at the desk that people around the world see on their tv's and where many celebrities have sat, I felt like I was VIP with my little visitor badge clipped to my shirt! Definitely was a good way to end the farewell to ESPN.
Back to his friends.... they rented out a room at a restaurant to hold a memorial type thing for Derek from 3pm-1am. We got to go and sit there for as long as we wanted and meet EVERYONE that knew Derek nearly. Being they all work crazy shifts, it was nice to be able to be there and them be able to come and go as they please. When we first walked in, I saw this gorgeous flower dish with a picture of my brother, and a shot of makers mark sitting on a napkin beside of it. I can honestly say, I smiled as I took a pic of it. And after looking over what seemed to be like the best selection called a menu I have ever seen in my life, I took the suggestion from one of Derek's friends and got the cajun mac and cheese. That is now on my to do list to figure out and learn to cook. Amazing! I've never just ordered "mac and cheese" as my meal at a restuarant, but gosh darn how I wish there was a Wood N Tap here so that I could more often! I loved hearing all of the stories, and being able to laugh and tell a few on Derek myself and get to know everyone that he always wanted me to meet although I would much rather it had been him introducing me for the first time as he always did as much as possible to his friends when I was in town... but they welcomed me with open arms and it felt like I had known them for years. I now understand why Derek always told me stories about his friends and talked so highly of them. He thought highly of them becuase they thought highly of him....
And since this blog has went on for pages and pages, I will do you the honor of summing up the end of this trip as fast as possible. After all the help from his friends, we were able to get things done in record breaking time and hit the road. Anybody that knows me, knows I am usually not the best "road trip" partner to begin with. I always fall asleep within an hour or so, and when I'm not sleeping I am just all ansy and dieing to get out and walk around for a minute. And to top all of that off, I for some reason will eat more in a car than I do in a week. So on top of all of my "no good road trip qualities"... add the fact that my mom and I are both going through something that is the hardest thing we have ever had to deal with in either of our lives making it one of the most tense car rides ever for 1000 miles. Between my mom taking everything the wrong way, and already being upset over everything, and me being upset, and trying to make her understand she took it the wrong way, and myself being nearly crippled in the hips from sitting in the "birthing position" for nearly 19 hours, the ride alone was enough to exhaust anybody. While riding this mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting ride, I saw the most beauitful sunset I have ever seen in my life. It was miraculous! I took a million pictures... something I never do when it comes to the sunset but all I could think about was the fact that in my heart I knew it was my brother painting again. Painting the sky and letting me see the beauty of the world even if he is no longer here to see it with me and to let me know that he is here, and he is watching over me. It was a precious feeling to my heart! And yes even after this 1000 mile trip, as soon as David and I pulled into our driveway, we went from the Uhaul straight to my car to head on a 200 mile trip to my sister and brother in laws house to pick up Josie. Although neither of us felt like riding even a smidge further in the driveway, we couldn't dare wait to go pick her up. Amazing how a little furry creature such as a dog, turns into family and almost like a kid to you isn't it? Now, If only Monday could get here so I could have my little Trenton Lane with me, I'd be set for this second.... and if I can just make it through my brother's burial service next week, maybe I can try to get my life back into a "routine" again... a routine of learning to live without the thoughts, words, and love from my brother....
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