Saturday, January 8, 2011

A bar hoppin Cinderella Story

The people in my life that know me well know that I always say everything happens for a reason. I may not ever truly know why it happened, but there is a reason behind it. This is something I am a firm believer in, and always keep in mind. It is something that helps me get through things that happen that I do not understand, along with helping me deal with everything else in life. Whether it be understanding the death of someone I love, being upset about plans not working out, or winning the lottery. *yeah right! :)* That was just a good example to add in there! :)

David and I talk a lot. I know everybody talks to their spouses but we talk about everything with each other. As soon as he gets home from work, we talk about how his day went, the things going on at his work, what he thinks and feels about it, what I think, how my day went, what we are going to do, etc.. It's nice to be able to actually talk to him and not fear what he will think or say about it and to be able to be so open with each other. Talking to each other is great compared to talking at each other. With all of my ex's, it was them talking at me. Very discouraging for a relationship. Nothing about mine and David's relationship is discouraging. He lifts me up when I am down, make me smile bigger when I am already full of smiles, and reminds me of how much he loves me daily. He does more for my heart than any other guy I have ever met. Sure you think this is common since we are technically "newlyweds" but that isnt the reasoning behind it all. This is something we have had all along of knowing each other. I've had some serious boyfriends in the past, but now that I look back they were just preparing me for the right one that was about to come along. They just trained me to realize the bullshit in people before I fell for it. :)

Back to the topic of David and I talking all the time, last night we were talking about things happening and at the time you don't realize it was all for a reason. He was saying that if things hadn't have happened the way they did between him and his ex wife then he wouldn't be in Kentucky. If he hadn't have gotten divorced and moved to Ky he would have never known that I existed. Although at the time a divorce is not what he wanted, it obviously happened for a reason. Along with him saying this, I started thinking about the first time we met. I was actually in a bad relationship with someone that did me wrong in more ways than I could ever count or begin to tell you. Who would have ever thought that going out for a girl's night with my friend Tabatha, I would meet the man of my dreams and marry him one day? Tabatha actually picked me up from my at the time boyfriend's house at a last minute choice to go out. First, let me say that I never go out with my high heels! I am a heel wearing kinda girl! But being I had been at his house that night, I had on tore up jeans, a white tube top, and black and white polka dotted flip flops. Something I would have never been caught dead at a bar in. What does it matter what I was wearing you ask? Well, David has a thing for girls 5'0" tall. He is the type that likes very small, petite sized girls. But he also likes a girl with fashion. There have been many times he has brought up the flip flop wearing night, and joking about a little country girl walking in the bar with flip flops on. While talking about this last night, I mentioned to him that it was the first time in my life I had ever wore flip flops to a bar. Unfortunately, that first time was the first time that he had met me. As the conversation went on, he brought it to my attention that there was a greater power over the decision of just going as is with my flip flops and all on. When I asked him what he meant by that, he referred to me saying everything happens for a reason. I myself was having a hard time trying to figure out where he was going with the reason and flip flops together. Then he made it clear... "Yes I am shallow enough that I would have hit on you if you weren't 5'0" and would have still found you attractive, but you wouldn't have been my type if you were any taller. If you had heels on, I would have thought you were taller. Sure I would have bought you drinks, and flirted but thats as far as it would have ever went. And even if I saw you had heels on, it would have never registered in my head that this girl is only 5'0'' without the heels on." So in the end, by me having a fashionista no-no, it lured my future husband in to talk to me. As I mentioned earlier, I had a boyfriend so I by no means was out looking for a new guy. When David spoke to me at first, I actually didn't even look at him. I never raised my head to even look at him, but did say "Hey" with my eyes on the man stamping my hand. After I was stamped, the guy that said "hey" was gone. Not thinking anything else of it, Tabatha and I went on it and headed for our usual spot by the dance floor. We walked up to it and started laughing as usual and absorbing the music. There was a man on the other side of Tabatha that had his back to us and was talking to a friend. When he turned around and looked at me, we made eye contact. I can't really explain what the look was in his eyes, or what really happened, but it was a look into someone's eyes I have never experienced with anyone else in my life. It was if nobody else was around. Just me and him. After what seemed like an eternity of just looking in each other's eyes without saying a word, he turned back around to his friend and said "that is the girl I was telling you about". After that, Tabatha and I went and got a seat and we actually didnt talk to him much after that through out the night. Here and there we would run into each other at the bar and make small talk, but I always cut it short and so did he and went on about our business as if we both weren't very interested. Before the night was over, he asked me for my number. Actually, asked for my phone so he could put his number in it. I lied. Flat out lied. I said my phone was in the car. Knowing it was razor and was in the right side of my back pocket. So with that being said, he handed me his phone and asked me to put my number in it. I did... except for the fact I made one digit wrong. At the time I thought he was a guy, in a bar, what did he really want? Hmm... I think we all know that answer! :) Little did I know, He was going to call my phone right then so I would have his number. BUSTED! "Why is there a guy named Jason on your voicemail?", he asked. Finally, I gave in and grabbed his phone again and played it off as if I accidently hit the wrong key. As I walked away, all I could think about was why worry, he wouldn't call anyway once he sobered up. And technically, that isn't cheating. you see, I am 100% against cheating. I have been cheated on a many of a time, and have always refused to do the sort to anybody else. I honestly think that is one of the worst feelings you can ever feel in your life. Before the night ended, a little more flirtacious remarks were made and it was left at just that. When Tabatha and I got back to the car, all I had on my mind was him. I never in my life thought I would find an older man that attractive. And before the 30 minute ride home was over, I told Tabatha "you wait and see. I will end up marrying this man one day." Keep in mind, I am the girl that always swore up and down I would never get married. I didn't trust men and never would with the mile long record of bad luck I had when it came to dating.

When I woke up the next morning, sure enough there was a missed call on my phone. When I listened to my voicemail, it was him. David had actually called. Reluctant to call him back being I was in a relationship, for some reason the one thing I would never do. I did. I called him back. The entire conversation was like I had known him my whole life. Being he lived in Russellville, and I in Glasgow. The relationship was strictly phone conversations. We talked all day and night at any chance we had. Hours at a time without a pause in the conversation. I told him about the guy I was dating. Everything he did to me, everything he had done to me in the past. I had dated this guy for over a year, and after he had cheated on me numerous times with a girl and acted as if there was nothing wrong with it, I honestly can't tell ya why I stayed with him. I guess the fear of change. I had been dating him for a while, and did love him at one time. The saying "I love you, but am not in love with you" indeed can be true. That is the way I felt about him. He was a very unstable guy. He threatened to kill himself all the time, was an alcoholic, abusive, and every other negative thing you can imagine. David never acted as if he was trying to get me to leave this guy. Nor did he ever ask me to. But over the course of the first week, I started to realize the way David made me feel, something the guy I was dating had never done. Not even when we first got together. Breaking up with him was like a releasing a 2 ton elephant that had been standing on my shoulders. Only problem was that this guy could not get it in his mind that we were broken up. He was the type that it took 16 breakups for him to get it through his head. Yes, he went crazy. Shocked? No I wasn't. He broke into my house, would see David's car at the house and stop by to "see what was going on and to hang out". Does that not explain crazy right there? I mean who truly does that?

Even though I had broken up with my boyfriend at the time, I still had trouble being able to trust David. Ghosts from the past lurked around me and unfortunately it made it hard on David. Our first date, I refused to go alone. I took a friend, and he took a friend and we made it a double date. That night was the night he swept me off my feet. He definitely had his ways about him. His swag if you would say. :) Standing in a 2 hour line at Graham Central Station in Nashville, David asked me if I wished we were inside. I replied with "Well yeah, Who wouldn't?" I turned to look at my friend and amongst turning back, he was gone. "Did he really just run off and leave me? What the hell?" ran through my head. Within a minute he was back grabbing my hand and telling me to come on. Where we were going, I had no clue. We walked up past everybody in line, he handed the bouncer $80. And to the front of the line and in the doors we were. I felt like a celebrity. I have never been important enough to anybody to get to do that. People were looking and asking why we got to go in and making an uproar over it because they too were tired of standing in line. We danced, and laughed and had the times of our lives in there. My friend and his friend hit it off just as good as we had when we first met and everyone was having a blast. A perfect first date, that isn't like your typical first date being I wouldn't go alone. :) People have asked me why I wouldn't go alone.. well, being David is from Atlanta and had only lived in Russellville 2 months before I met him, I felt like I couldn't find anything out about him. I couldn't ask people what kind of guy he was. He was a man with a mysterious past. Something that drew me in but also kept me on guard. For all I knew at the time, he could have been anything or anyone. Luckily, he did prove me wrong. :)

After that first date, it was nothing but excitement when we knew we were going to get to see each other. He would come to Glasgow and stay with me and hang out and have to be at work in Russellville at 6 am. Meaning he had to leave my house at 4 am. Of course when he was there, we were up talking all night leaving him with maybe 2 hours sleep if he was lucky. Although I was and had totally fell for him, I kept thinking that he was too good to be true. What if he was just playing me along? So when his birthday came around, I did something I regret to this day. I stood him up. I wish I hadn't but I did. I had just gotten myself out of a horrible relationship and kept having the fear in my mind that what if I was falling for his act just because things had been so bad on me for so long? I had never had these feelings for someone in my entire life. Nothing so fast. So exciting. It literally had to be too good to be true. I actually didn't talk to him for a few days past his birthday. And during those 3 days, I kept finding myself feeling guilty. Guilty I stood him up. Guilty I wasn't explaining to him what was going on. And guilty thinking that I had just done to him what I was afraid of. I led him on making him think we were meant to be, and whatever else would explain it, and just left him hanging. Just like guys had done to me that made me feel so bad all the time, and the exact thing I was terrified he was going to do to me all along. Needless to say, when I realized this, I picked the phone up and gave him a call. From then on, there were no more fears.

He was living in a house that his cousin owned being that when he came to stay here, it was just to visit family and get away from Atlanta for a while. Nothing permanent. The 2 months he had stayed were already longer than he had ever planned on being here. Then he met me, and stayed because of me. Something he never dreamed he would end up doing when he came here. After a few months of us dating, he cousin sold the house and gave him a week to be out. That in fact is what led David to moving to Glasgow. It was a decision I wasn't sure of at the time. We had only been together for a few months and I had never lived with anyone other than my parents. At the time, Trenton and I lived in an apartment by ourselves. It was definitely a big decision I had to make and make fast. He never asked.... it was just something I thought about and decided to give a try. Besides, if it didn't work out, I wasn't going to be the one with nowhere to go being he was coming to live with me. :) Luckily, it worked out perfect. It was like we had lived together our whole lives. There was nothing awkward about it at all. And we have lived together ever since!

David proved me wrong when it came to all my fears about dating him. He wasn't using me. He wasn't too good to be true. He was everything I had always wanted a man to be like and still is. He tells me how much he loves me, but more importantly he shows me, and I actually believe it. Something no other guy has ever done for me. He has given me more self confidence than I have ever had in my life. Never a word of negativity towards me or anything I do comes from his lips. As corny as it sounds, he completes my life. We are so in tune with each other we complete each other's sentences, say and think the exact same things at the same time, and know when the other is uncomfortable about something no matter where we are or what is going on.

Of course, there are a whole lot of other instances I could mention that would make you realize the irony of us being together, but it would take entirely too long. Indeed, everything happens for a reason. If Tabatha and I hadn't have went out for a girls night with my choice to wear tacky flip flops, I would have met David but that is where it would have started and ended. Just meeting each other. If David hadn't have gotten divorced and found a need to get away from Atlanta for a while and decided to stay as long as he had, we would have never met. As bad as it may sound, if things hadn't have went bad between him and his ex-wife, we would have never known of each other's existence. If I hadn't have been dating a complete retarded, psychotic, alcoholic who had literally beat the crap out of me 2 days before meeting David, I may have still been blind to his ways and never called David back. If I hadn't have found the courage to ask him to move in with me, and he stayed in Russellville, or went back to Atlanta, it may have never worked out between us. Kind of like out of sight, out of mind ya know? And if Tabatha and I hadn't have went to our usual spot beside the bar before finding a seat and if David hadn't have been standing in that exact spot beside us, I would have never realized who said "hey" to me while getting my hand stamped since I never took a look at him when he did. If he hadn't have turned around and made that eye contact from a movie, I may have never fell in love at first sight for the first time in my life. I never believed in it until I met David and had that moment of a stare in his eyes. Had I not had those flip flops on, I wouldn't have been his kinda girl. The height from heels would have thrown him off. And had he not called my fake phone number right in front of me and got me to give him the real one, we may have never talked again. If he had waited until the next day to call, and then had the wrong number, that would have been the end of that. We may have never seen each other again. And had we not talked for hundreds of hours getting to know each other without seeing each other for 3 weeks after meeting, it may not have worked either. By us talking so much and only seeing each other once, we both had forgotten exactly what each other looked like. When we met up for the first time after the night we met, we had to call each other to make sure it was the other when we arrived because we had forgotten what the other looked like so much. By talking on the phone for as long as we did, it allowed us to fall in love with nothing more than each other's soul. It made it based on the personalities instead of looks although I do find him crazy attractive. :) And had I not stood him up on his Birthday, I would have never had the guilt I had those few days. I would have never had the time to miss him and see how much I truly was in love with him. I assumed it was lust at first on both of our parts, but by not talking to him I realized how true the feelings were. So see, my saying is right. Everything happens for a reason. Had all of this not happened, I may have not married the man of my dreams, my best friend, the love of my life, and the one that was meant for me. :)

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