Fibered Tears

Okay, it's no secret that my favorite times of the year are when Trenton is out of school. I love it! I love being able to do whatever we want, when we want, with no perfect timing schedule that we have to stick to every night. I love the junk good, the couch slumber parties, sleeping in, going outside, and all in all, just the huge amount of time that we get to spend with each other. :)

This week has been spring break for Trenton and we have had the best time! He has been so sweet and so good and I have loved every minute of it!

Last night, we were sitting on the couch watching tv late way past our bedtime, and I asked him if he has had a good spring break which was proceeded by him saying "yes." Being the detailed nosy person I am, I went on to ask what his favorite part of it has been. With the sweetest little voice, he looked over me with those big brown eyes that are absolutely to die for, and said "getting to spend so much time with you mommy!" Oh my gosh! My heart literally melted! It was the most sweetest thing ever! While my heart was trying to reabsorb and get back to its shape, I could not help but sit there and think to myself how lucky I am to have a child that loves me just as much as I love him because lord knows, i love that little boy with every inch of my body, every beat of my heart, and every breath I take. My universe is consumed with one thing, Trenton. And I wouldnt have it any other way! :)

Of course while we are eating whatever we want whenever we want, and staying up late, we also have the right to run around in a star wars costume with laser pistols, and red light sabres.  Unfortunately, with all of the bad guys that require being cut in half with fascinating, glowing light sabers, there also comes the moment when you are injured and have to wave the white flag and stop the war. Trenton somehow managed to cut his finger or get a "fiber" in it as he was calling it that was so tiny I myself could not see it. Every time he touched his little pointer finger to something, he would let our the most pitiful little cry of pure agony and would have the biggest tears you've ever seen running down his face. Something about him sitting there with his little finger extended, crying those big tears while wearing his costume, tore my heart up. I absolutely hate when he is being so good and so sweet and then something happens and he gets hurt.

After running his finger under cold water a few times, and even putting oragel on it, in an attempt to try and numb it, the "fiber" still remained in tact and the tears were still coming. Finally after trying to run water over again, and finally talking him into letting me put a piece of tape on it, we were able to relieve the horrible pain from the "fiber" and Trenton was able to go back to playing and being the sweet little boy that he always is :)

It's really an amazing thing that something so small can happen to your child, and the thinking you do about it, can cause more hurt in your heart than their little finger ever felt during the time. For almost 2 days now, I have thought and thought, and pictured and pictured in my head, him sitting in his costume and crying so pitifully. I'm not sure why I have relived such a small incident in my head so much, but either way, I have. Every time I think about it, my heart gets more and more squishy. Softer and softer with each picture zooming by in my head as if you were looking through a projector. When I say "I have one strength and one weakness in this world and this is my son" I mean it. That little boy is my heart and soul made over. There is nothing I wouldnt do for him and nobody I wouldnt kill over him. With everything my emotions and heart have been through in this past year, I am almost certain that I would have never made it had it not been for Trenton. The love he and I have for each other is literally what made me wake up each and every morning. As crazy as some may think I am, I can never thank the lord so much for bringing that little boy into this world so early in my life. I honestly believe that God knew what was to come and knew that I would need the strength I get from/for Trenton to survive it all. He's my partner in crime, my side kick, my buddy, my biggins, my T-Lane, and the part of me that stole my heart and soul the day he was born. For that, I will forever owe the lord above for bringing such a blessing and precious gift into my life.