I know, I know, it's been a while!! And although nearly every single night I have opened up my blog with every intention of writing a new one, I have found myself just sitting here, staring at the blank page, speechless. How is it possible to have so much going on and so much to say, yet nothing to say all at the same time? Weird, I know. But now that I have my fingers flowing and my thinking turned on, the real situation and question at the moment is, where to begin?
I'm thinking there is no better way to start this blog other than just rambling off and starting somewhere. Anywhere. So with that being said, be patient and try to keep up because I have a feeling this one is going to be a rambler along with being very out of chronological order... :)
First, let me start with the job world. It is official. I am back into the working world, officially wearing my big girl panties once again in life. Don't get me wrong, I have loved staying at home and having the chance to be a stay at home mom and house wife, but at the same time, I have also secretly been wishing that I had a job. For one, the guilt of David having to work and work extremely long hours in a shit hole place has put guilt on me. I have felt as if maybe if I were working, he wouldnt have to work so much and for the fact that if I were working, it would give us extra money to do and have more in life. So what did I do? I found me a job! :) Upon starting this job, I had so much excitement and so much pride that I had actually gotten a job and was able to help out towards the family wants and needs but now, the excitement is over. The realization of having to get up and be somewhere every morning has kicked in. Call me lazy.. I really dont care. But anybody that has to do something and has to go to work knows exactly what I am referring to by this comment. Plus being used to having the day to do whatever I want, when I want has spoiled me rotten. Actually, scratch that. I really don't think it is the fact of having to get up and be somewhere every morning that bothers me, I believe it is the fact that I really am not pleased with the job I have. Don't get me wrong, I am forever grateful to have this job but it literally is the most boring job I have ever had in all my life. When I think of work, I think of running around like a chicken with its head cut off and think of actually working. Not just sitting in a chair, typing, and listening to people from around the world tell me about their problems. Sounds easy though right? Exactly. That is just the point that I am making. This job is entirely way too easy. So easy I actually feel as if I lose brain cells sitting in that very uncomfortable chair day in and out. This is the least challenging job I have had in all my life. Yes, the full 27 yrs of it! :) I'm not sure what exactly it is about this job that I dislike the most, but I know that I am keeping my eyes and ears open for other jobs to put in for. Actually, let me give you a little history about this job. I am in the new department which deals with activation, installation, and trouble shooting anti-virus protections. It's actually been said that it is the easiest department... but although easy is good, easy is boring. Plus, it is a new department. New means nobody knows what is going on and the rules change day in and day out. You go in one day and you are told one thing and then you do what you were told all to find out the next day that you are not supposed to be doing things that way. You literally don't know what the rules are going to be depending on the day. I myself can not stand that. I would think before they opened a new department, they would have it actually established a little bit. But hey- I guess that is why I am just a call agent and not a big dog in the building. What do I know right? ;) And of course, it never fails that when you get a job or something new is going on in your life, everything else around you seems to start happening and falling apart. Example... your child gets sick and you get sick. You go months with no problems but as soon as you have to be somewhere and do something, you get sick. Just my luck!! Im dead serious when I say this... if it is going to happen, it will happen to Kacie every time! Always! It's amazing because I have always said that I would love to have a job that I could dress nice for and that you could call an office job. Technically, I got my wish.... I sit there all day long. I type all day long. I talk on the phone all day long. And I get to dress nice every day. And I hate it. I'm not sure what the hate is in me when it comes to this job but I do know that I feel like it doesn't push my mind at all. A 10 year old could work this job with no problem I believe.
Okay, okay... I myself am getting tired of the bickering about the job so I will move on.
Working 9-6 sounds great, and I'm very thankful it is a day shift job and not 2nd shift or even worse, 3rd but getting off at 6 has really put a strain on me getting to spend time with Trenton. It seems like by the time I get home, all we have time for is homework, dinner, baths, and then bedtime. I feel like I haven't had the chance to spend any time with Trenton. And being that tuesday and wednesdays are my only days off, and I work every weekend, that really sucks!! That means Trenton and I don't get any "full" days together. Either he is at school part of the day, or I am at work part of the day which crushes me!! If you know me, or you know Trenton, you know that we are so dependent on each other it is almost scary. We thrive off of each other and need each other more than we need air it seems at times. So where I am getting at with this thought is that last week was my last saturday off until I possibly have the chance of a shift change..... and although it was Trenton's weekend at his dad's house, we were fortunate enough for his dad to say that he could stay with me that Friday night and spend the day with me that Saturday before his dad picked him up that evening. So yes, we took full advantage of our friday night and saturday together!! First, david, trenton and myself played Trent's R2D2 trouble game. Last year when Trenton got his birthday money, he picked this game out himself while telling me that he wanted us to have family game night. Trenton and I had played the game a few times together, but Friday was the first time all 3 of us played the game together. :) We had the best time playing his game! So much fun that David even asked if we all wanted to play the game a few other times through out the week before going to bed :D With every click of the bubble in the middle of the board game with the dice in it, R2 makes one of his little robot noises and Trenton thinks it is hilarious! To see him getting so tickled over the noises the game made, and him being so excited that he was winning and seeming to be the only one with any luck on rolling a 6 and getting another turn, it was precious!! We actually had so much fun playing the game, we couldn't let the fun stop there so Trenton dug out a ridiculous amount of legos and lincoln logs into the living room floor and he and I sat up until 3 am building a pokemon headquarters out of them. Although I was so sleepy I couldnt hardly hold my eyes open, I managed to make it and I couldn't be any happier about letting Trenton stay up so late! He and I were sitting in the floor working on the headquarters and Trenton reached over and put his little hand on my leg and said "this has been the best night ever hasn't it mama?" After asking him why he felt that way, he said "because mama, you have been at work and I haven't got to spend hardly any time with you but tonight it's just about us isn't it mama?" Talk about melting my heart!! I thought it was the sweetest thing to hear him be so appreciative of the time we were getting to spend together that night! Even when it was time for bed, he didn't want to be seperated from me so he grabbed his pillow pets and blankets from his bed, and he and I slept on the couch together. And even though it was 3 am and I was beyond tired, I figured why let the fun stop there? So while I made our bed on the couch, Trenton put in his favorite pokemon DVD in order to watch it together while falling asleep. Needless to say, I don't think either of us made it through the opening song before falling asleep. I believe as soon as Trenton's head hit his favorite pillow pet, he was out! For days after this, all I could think about was our Friday night together. It was perfect!! And apparently, it was the same way for Trenton because he is still talking about how much he enjoyed our night together and how he can't wait until we are able to do it again. And yes, you best believe we will be doing it again!! :) It's times like that I hope Trenton remembers and looks back on as an adult and sees how much I love him and how much he has always meant to me and always will mean to me. Grateful is nowhere near the word I am looking for to describe how I feel for having that little boy in my life.
So here it is a Sunday, and I was supposed to be at work at 9 and it is now 10:00. Yes, I know.. I'm disappointed in myself too. Yesterday I was so sick to my stomach all day nearly and when I woke up this morning, I was feeling the same way after being up and down all night with a stomach ache. So in order to make sure I would be good to go and not be sick to my stomach, I took a half point to stay home for 2 hours and make sure I would make it past whatever stomach issues I am having. Although it's not like I just called in to call in, and not like I just over slept or something and I can't really help what is going on, I am disappointed in the fact that i had to get a half point this morning. But- I guess thats what points, actually "occurrences" are there for right? Just sucks though when you just start a job and already are having to miss. But- I took some meds for my stomach, and so far so good for the time being. Now, lets just hope that it remains this way through out the day!! Nothing worst than feeling like crap, having a stomach ache, and working! Especially when you are on the phone with customers all day long... I mean, think about it. What are you really supposed to do in the middle of talking to a customer and you feel the sudden urge to run to the bathroom? lol Could be a bad situation! But still.. I feel bad missing.
I have a few minutes before heading out to go to work, so I'm going to take advantage of this moment of not doing anything and quit rambling since the rest of my day will consist of staring at a computer screen and listening to other people ramble about their pc problems! :) Wish me luck today and pray that it goes by fast!
No comments:
Post a Comment